The bread for the peanut butter sandwiches is squished and flattened and torn, with the peanut butter sliding off the sides. It's cut in two slices of unequal portions and gently placed on a paper plate, one half for each of them. Several forks and spoons, made of plastic are scattered around the table too, with teddy bears in the extra seats. The girl in the hat pours the pretend tea into the tiny cups and takes a dainty a sip. With a huge smile and her eyes wide, she nods to her brother that it's wonderful.
Of course, the child with the big floppy hat is the oldest of the two and makes all the decisions. With hands on her hips and a wobbly walk in her mothers shoes, she gives instructions to her younger brother. He gets up from the table and pulls out her chair for her to sit down, with a big sigh and a rolling of the eyes and a sigh. He stands beside her and picks up her sandwich off the plate. Right before it touches his lips, she has her hand on it and throws it back on the plate telling him he has to wait, pointing her finger to his chair. He rolls his eyes again as she stands up and points to his chair, her lips pouting with authority, as only a five year old girl can do. He obeys and sits in his chair, but...
He has stared at that sandwich now until he just has to have a bite. No longer interested in the game, he grabs the sandwich and runs from the room and her mighty stare, his tie flying off and landing on the floor. He doesn't care, he's free from the dreaded "tea party". I step back, so he doesn't trip over my feet and watch him run to his own room, chewing gleefully on the crumbly sandwich. She stomps her feet and falls off the shoes. She's not hurt, but now she has no one to boss around. She fumes for a minute, with those little fists on her hips, ahh..practice makes perfect. It's perfectly alright to take this stance in her own room, with no one to tell her to stop throwing a fit. Taking the shoes and placing them on the table where her brother had sat, now she could boss around the child that only she could see, her invisible guest. They played for some time, until she was tired of wearing the hat that kept falling over her eyes. She takes it off and tosses it on the bed among the giant pile of stuffed animals.
Climbing up on the bed and making room among the stuffed animals for her new friend to sit beside her, they read a book quite intensely and she points at the pictures as she turns the pages. She's barely five and reads this book from memory, missing some words, but telling the story beautifully. Finishing the book, so comfy and relaxed, she lies on the bed, her eyelids starting to close, and her little head falls off the pillow. She turns over and hugs her pillow, fast asleep. So quickly and softly sleep has covered her, the party is done for today.
Creeping down the hall to the other room, I can see her brother lying on the floor in the midst of cars and trucks with a red one in his hand, fast asleep. I pick him up, he doesn't stir, and lay him on the bed. Standing over him, loving the chubby lips and perfect nose, his long eyelashes on his perfect cheek, I want to hug him forever and protect him from falling or crying or feeling left out. My brain tells me that will never happen, but it's nice to think it could for a moment. My mommy moment..of only I could...
They don't stay little for more than a day it seems to me. Just yesterday, they were cuddled in blankets in my arms, patient and calm, as they slept peacefully next to my heart.
Tomorrow and the day after are impatiently awaited on by them, they have so much to do! But I am quite happy with today, to watch them sleep and wonder what they will dream. From here I can see they are safe. Once out of my sight, that soon will come, I can't always catch them before they fall. If they could stay this age forever, I might save them from the boo boos and heartbreak, I might! They grow with every breath of air that stirs and even though I'll try, I can't stop the wind. They will go to school and out of my sight, and stretch their wings and grow so fast and tall...
The bruised knees and the lost baseball games, no front teeth and pants that don't fit. Playing in the mud puddle and looking up to find me watching from the window, smiling up at me with joy, because it's ok to play. I wish it could stay this way, for a little while..
Little girls and boys trying so hard to grow up..they won't remember everything they learn along the way...or tea parties in the afternoon, but I will.. as I catch their tears in my hands and hold onto them for a moment longer.
If I could fly.....I could catch them whenever they fall or get their feelings hurt...if I could fly...
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