Chapter 12Sam got a cup of coffee and looked out the window for any sign of Jake lurking around. Lily came into the room and looked around for Jake. Not seeing him she went to Sam, "Can we eat now?" Sam looked at Robbie, " From the looks of the pot, someone already did." Robbie looked perturbed, "Yes Sam, I fed my son. Sorry." Robbie started dishing up the chili and slamming it onto the counter a little harder than she had meant to. The bowl broke and chili began to run out from beneath it. Lily ran and got paper towels for her. "I'll get it Lily!" Robbie told her sharply.
Lily ran to Sam crying into her arms. "Mom, I think I'll take Lily out for a burger." Sam told her. "Oh Sam, that's ridiculous. We have all this food ready here." Robbie replied indignantly, and then she began to cry. "I'm so sorry. I'm upset with myself, and taking it out on you two." Lily went to her and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Oh, sweetie, Nana's so sorry. I didn't mean to be so fussy." Robbie told her. Sam went into the family room and cut on the news, not up to having this discussion with her mother right now, she would have to think about helping Jake. She heard the door open and Jericho's voice filled the kitchen with laughter. She smiled to herself and opened the paper.
A huge picture on the inside front page showed her brother Jake, shaking hands with a firefighter. Sam sat up straighter and began to read the story. Apparently Jake had gone into a burning house and saved an elderly woman. The story went on for some time and praised Jake's heroism for such an unselfish act. Sam laid the paper down and went into the kitchen, finding Robbie sitting at the table, just staring out the window, as Jericho and Lily put the chili into bowls. "Mom, I read the paper. Is that why you are so upset now?" she asked Robbie. Robbie leaned over and touched her hand, "I'm sorry hon, it just threw me, reading about something good Jake had done and we weren't even aware of it..and he seems so, changed. I guess a mother always wants to know that her children are safe.. and that they have good in them. I don't even know where Jake is living or what it's like on the ranch he is working on." Sam nodded, understanding how her mother felt, "Let's ask Tim what he thinks about this new Jake." Robbie nodded, hoping that Sam could do what Jake had asked of her.
Robbie was bursting with pride over Jake's ability to save some one's life, but even she still questioned the new Jake. He seemed so much calmer, a Jake she had never witnessed before, but she was almost as reticent as Sam, about trusting his motives. Jake had never put anyone before himself, even as a child. Maybe this therapist could explain some of the mistakes they had made with him as a child. Robbie continued to think about all the possibilities, until she couldn't even hear what was going on in the room she was in. Feeling torn between her children was beginning to put more stress on her than she could handle. She moved around the kitchen the same as always, but with a deep concern over whether she could understand the situation clearly enough to help any of them. Robbie glanced around her kitchen, the place she was most comfortable in and realized that she needed to try and understand how Sam felt about this new turn of events. She and Luke had always just counted on Sam, without regard to how she might really be feeling. Jake had always come first with them and she knew that they had been wrong for many years.
"Here Jericho, I'll get the cornbread out." Sam told him. She was still thinking about Jake as she helped to finish get dinner on the table. Glancing over at her mother pouring the tea, she hoped she could find out something to ease her mind about Jake. She would call Tim later, maybe he knew something about where Jake was living, that would ease her mother's mind. Dinner was a happy meal after all, with Lily so proud of her cornbread. She looked over at Robbie, "Nana, you didn't give Jake any cornbread." Robbie and Sam looked over at her in amazement. Sam asked, "Did you want Jake to have some hon?" Lily didn't even look up, "Nope!" Sam smiled, knowing exactly how she felt.
After Sam put Lily to bed, she went into her room and opened the letter that Jake had given her. She laid it back down on the table by her bed and started to leave the room, wanting to be away from the paper by the bed. Curiosity got the best of her though, and she picked it up and began to read the words he had carefully printed. She laughed, thinking of the many arguments her parents had with Jake in school, because he refused to write in cursive. As she read the last words, she was torn between anger and forgiveness for her brother. She wanted to continue the anger towards him, but her heart just wouldn't allow it. Sam sat on the edge of the bed and went over the words again. He had apologised several times, and admitted to all the bad behaviours as a child and adult. He begged for her forgiveness, in a childlike manner that she couldn't ignore, but then she questioned it. Was he trying to win her over with a new tactic? She placed the letter in the drawer of her desk and went downstairs to find her mother sitting in Luke's recliner, reading a letter of her own.
Robbie looked over her glasses at Sam, "Sit down honey. We need to talk." Sam sat on the hassock in front of her mother. "I know how hard this is for you to believe Sam, that Jake has changed. I guess I have just begun to realize how much you and Tim had to endure from Jake growing up. Maybe I'm the one that needs therapy. But, this could be a new beginning for him Sam, don't you think we should at least check it out?" She gave Sam a pleading look. Sam was quietly thinking over the events that had taken place. "Mom, did you notice how Jake's visit affected Lil? She is scared to death of him." Sam told her. "With good reason, and I think a little intuition as well. She doesn't trust him at all Mom, neither do I." Robbie was saddened, thinking that Sam would stop Jake from finding his way to happiness. "But I am thinking about it Mom." Robbie smiled at her and hoped that they could both do the right thing for all of them for a change.
The next day came with a strong wind blowing in from the north. Sam was glad they had gotten all the calves shipped before the really cold came. Jericho was feeding the mares and checking on them, they had several ready to foal soon. Sam got on the tractor and headed into the hay barn to begin taking the large round bails out to the pasture for the cows. Jericho would go to the low grounds and feed there. As she went through the gate, she noticed a car pulling up to the house. She didn't recognize the car and decided to go find out who it was. Sam shut the gate and left the tractor running. She opened the door to find Tim and Selena sitting at the table. "Well, what's this?" she said as she hugged them both.
'Here Sam, your coffee." Robbie said handing her a cup. Tim coughed and looked at Sam, "We just came from the doctor. Selena is going on bed rest, starting today. So, we thought we'd come by and try and con Mom into helping us out." Sam smiled, "I think that's a perfect idea." Robbie wasn't smiling, "What about you all, how will you ever eat?" "I think we can manage just fine. Lily is such a big help, it won't be any trouble. Mom, I know you want to help, we'll be fine. You just take care of these two!" Sam told her as she hugged Tim. "Now wait a minute you guys!" Selena said, laughing. "I only need a little help each day, I don't need a baby sitter." Robbie laughed, "Yes, but you have a two story house, and you won't be able to go up and down the steps. It's better if I'm there with you."
Selena got serious, "As much as I appreciate all of your help, I really don't want to feel like someone is hovering over me. I have my laptop and lots of books. I can manage most of the day all by myself. It would be great if you could come in the afternoon maybe. After Lily gets off the bus, I would love seeing her for a bit."
Robbie bit her lip realizing that Selena didn't want her there all the time, "Alright, what ever you want. Lily would love to come and help. That way, I can fix supper here in the morning and I'll make yours in the afternoon." Everyone laughed and the matter was settled. Selena and Tim left and Sam went back out to work, still thinking about what she should do about Jake's request. Finally, Sam couldn't stand thinking about it anymore and went in to find Robbie. "Mom." she called out. Robbie came in from the laundry room, "Hi honey, you want coffee?" "No Mom, I came in to tell you I'll go see Jake's therapist with you." Sam told her and went back out the door, hoping to feel better about her decision as the day wore on. She wanted to help her mother too, and the only way to do that was to try and help Jake, from a distance hopefully.
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