Hot Times On The Farm

　
On a particularly hot day in June, the temperature was right at 100 degrees, our family had a job to do. We couldn't put it off and take care of it on another day, it had to be done that day. Actually, we were timing the meds in our cows so they could be bred. It's a fine art to making sure the cows are in good shape and ready to be bred again to bring another calf to the herd. Of course the calf can't be just any breed, no it must be chosen carefully. The choice's are endless and time consuming, reading through all the stats of the parents, in order to come up with a fine little bull or heifer calf. Of course the bull of choice must have all the proper traits in order to add to the growth of the calf in a timely manner. Yes, it's all quite scientific these days. The old farmers would just turn the bull out with the cows and wait until the next year to see what they had when the calves were born.


We have come a long way..or not! Today we artificially inseminate the cows. As we headed to the barn to begin the first round of the process, sweat was heavy on our clothes and foreheads. It's hard to see when you have salty sweat in your eyes and wiping it away only tends to make your skin tender and painful. Walking any distance at all was a struggle to breath in the heavy humidity. Once inside the barn, you had to chew the air in order to get a breath, it was so heavy. The need to hurry along with the job so we could get back to some air that was breathable was in all our minds. Now, I need to explain that my husband has a tendency to get all wrapped up in the task at hand, the cows. He doesn't see much else going on around him, like the people helping, when cows are being herded or if they have gotten out. His rather loud voice gets even louder and if things aren't going his way, it takes on an even higher pitch. The kind of sound that makes you want to sneak away and hide, so he can't find you.

Today the cows had to be brought up to the corral, this was not usually difficult at all. They are quite willing to come to the barn, thinking there will be food, the good chewy kind that comes in a bag, not the green grass of the pasture that they must chew on for some time. Although, they do love new green grass. My husband assured me that he didn't need help bringing them up, they would follow him without any problem. Most of them did. One did not. Yes..there's always one that doesn't like to follow the crowd.
Well, as I sat under the barn trying to stay out of the burning sun, my husband hollers for me to "run" around the barn and cut this cow off. Surely not, I think. Run? Oh yes, as he calls to me in a rather impatient voice. (yell!) I get off my comfy bucket and grab a stick and climb over the gate. In a hurry to help you know, no time to unlatch it. I run around the barn and don't see him or the cow. I stand very still and wait for that ever increasing volume of his voice. Yep! There it is, telling me to come around the other way. I look around and realize that he has shut all the gates, so I think the quickest and easiest way is to climb over the wood fence.
You know, I am so anxious to do a good job...uh huh!

Well, I get one leg over and push myself up with the other...just as the board gives way. I'm already up and going over..and then down. Hard. I hit the dirt on my left side with an indescribable sound..sort of...hummmffffttttt. I don't really think there is a word to describe the sound of this old girl hitting the dirt from the top of the fence with more than a thud. It knocked the breath out of me and hurt to boot! Oh yes, my husband is now yelling for me to hurry up and cut that cow off before she goes back to the field. I can hear him, the whole county could hear him, but I couldn't quite get myself together. Finally, thinking I had to hurry up and cut that cow off, you know..life or death, I take off. My chest is still heaving and my feet want to crumble beneath me, but I keep going. Finally, before I made the turn around the building, I sat down. Right there in the dust and dirt and...other stuff. I just had to get control of my breathing and no longer felt the need to hurry..for that dumb cow or that now angry impatient husband.

Well, my husband had gotten tired of waiting on me and came around the building. Hands on his hips, sweat dripping off his eyebrows, he asked me what I thought I was doing just sitting there. I glance up at him with my gasping for air chest heaving...and shoot him my most loving... not, I mean most mean look. "Breathing!" I say with a gasp. Any fool could see that I was having a moment to say the least. He slaps his hands against his thigh and tells me to go on home if I can't be more help. Yeah...he said that. I stand up and take my stick....and manage turn to the cow instead of him, although... Through heavy, but not as hard breathing, I walk toward the cow and click at her. She walks into the corral as if I had said please. After all that, she just walks in! He could have done that himself!

I continue walking back toward the barn and again, climb over the fence, being careful to not step on the same board that had sent me flying a few minutes earlier.
My dear husband then asks me if I am ok. I glance at him and continue heading to the barn unable to speak at this point, where my bucket awaited me. My son was coming in the drive by then to help. We went into the barn together and he asked if I was ok. So sweet! He could just tell by the drained look on my face that I was in fact, not so ok. I told him about my flying leap into the pasture and after he stopped laughing from picturing it, he was ready to take care of me. By that time, I had calmed myself down and was breathing regularly, or as good as could be expected in that oppressive heat. He had taken note of my dirty shirt and had an idea that I was not having a good time.

About that time my husband came into the barn. Now that the cows were all in the proper place, he was ready to check on my condition. First things first you know, the cows not the wife! Just as I was ready to go off, and I do not mean with a song, my sweet son told me to rest for a bit. He could tell by the look on my face I was building up to a tongue lashing that would last awhile and he wanted to get on with the business at hand without having to endure that. He grinned at me and I laughed. He was right, I would just get hotter if I ever got started.

We did finally finish working all those cows, at just about dark. It hadn't cooled off any, but at least the sun had gone down behind the trees for a little relief. We headed to the truck. I turned to see him going back to the pasture. Not really thinking anything about it, I got in the truck and turned the A.C. up on high and the radio too. Putting my seat back in the recline position, I was feeling pretty good. Out of the corner of my eye I saw my husband standing on the other side of the fence calling to me. Notice I said the corner of my eye, I wasn't about to turn my head in his direction at that point, after all, I didn't even get to yell at him earlier and I am in no mood to go chasing any more cows today.
After a while he came to the truck and said, "Didn't you hear me calling you?"
I just shook my head, with that oh so innocent look. He got in the truck and told me he couldn't find his shoes and had needed my help. He had left them in the barn, but couldn't find them when he took his boots off. We go all the way home, about two miles, with those silly shoes sitting on the bumper where my son had sat them, to be helpful in gathering everything out of the barn.

I had walked to the back of the truck to get my cooler out and saw them sitting there, on the bumper! I lifted them up in the air for him to see and we both began to laugh hysterically. Those poor old shoes must have wanted to be back home in the air conditioning as bad as we did!
After cooling out and a shower he snuggled up for a hug and told me how sorry he was. I told him he sure was! But I had to laugh too, now that we were out of that miserable hot barn! The thing is, we have to do it all again in seven days, oh I hope it's not as hot and I can manage to keep my feet on the ground! Old folks don't fly well at all.